Good Advice From A Fellow Blogger!

http://happyherbivore.com/2013/06/minimalist-monday-ending-toxic-relationships/

Why Can't People Just Forgive & Forget?

"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Let's face it - we all know people who are bitter and who like to hold on to and nurse grudges. These people have a chip on their shoulder;  they wallow in self-pity; they are avoided by most people because they carry a dark cloud around with them everywhere they go; and they are at odds with their spiritual and religious beliefs because of holding onto anger.

I recently had to deal with a situation where I unintentionally offended someone who was "supposedly" a friend. I went out of my way to apologize to that person and to make sure that the offense was resolved. In fact, I went to that person multiple times because I knew they didn't accept the apology the first time. I went above and beyond my duties as a friend AND as a Christian to make sure that all was right between myself and that person and that my relationship with God didn't suffer because of any unresolved offenses that I'd caused. And guess what? This person REFUSES to forgive me! They have a grudge a mile wide on their shoulder and it's growing bigger every day. I've exhausted all my mental resources trying to resolve this and am left wondering, "What do you do when someone is carrying a grudge against you and refuses to forgive you?"

So I thought I'd use this topic for my weekly blog.

Grudges are nasty little things that, if left to fester, can only succeed in destroying the one carrying it.
I found this article online and thought I'd share it on my blog:

"When we hold on to pain, old grudges, bitterness and even hatred, many areas of our lives can suffer. When we’re unforgiving, it’s we who pay the price over and over. We may bring our anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Our lives may be so wrapped up in the wrong that we can’t enjoy the present. Other signs that it may be time to consider forgiveness include:

• Dwelling on the events surrounding the offense
• Hearing from others that you have a chip on your shoulder or that you’re wallowing in self-pity
• Being avoided by family and friends because they don’t enjoy being around you
• Having angry outbursts at the smallest perceived slights
• Often feeling misunderstood
• Drinking excessively, smoking or using drugs to try to cope with your pain
• Having symptoms of depression or anxiety
• Being consumed by a desire for revenge or punishment
• Automatically thinking the worst about people or situations
• Regretting the loss of a valued relationship
• Feeling like your life lacks meaning or purpose

The bottom line is that you may often feel miserable in your current life."

I'm not going to lie, I know I've held grudges before. And it's not a fun place to be. One day it dawned on me that the only person being affected by my bitterness and unforgiveness was myself. The person I was mad at was going merrily down life's road, totally unaffected by my negative feelings for them. They were prospering, being happy, living life and didn't care in the least about my grudge. Since that point, I've tried to be the type of person who doesn't allow bitterness and unforgiveness to rule me. And besides all that, one who is in a right and close relationship with their Creator doesn't even consider holding on to a grudge because that would immediately put a huge wall between them and the God they desire to be close to. Their spiritual life would die. It is impossible to be a spiritual being when carrying around unspiritual traits and characteristics.
I'm not going to lie - in my dealings with this bitter person of late, I've often wondered if they even possess the God they say they know. How can you so blatantly be so unforgiving to someone if you are in a right relationship with Christ? The truth is, you cannot. So that brings me to the conclusion that the bigger problem with this person is a spiritual problem that is spilling over into every aspect of their life. In all honesty, I pity this person. How miserable they must be!! To be at odds with God and with people who only desire to be their friends is so very sad!
 
So what do you do, then, with a person who refuses to forgive you? There's no easy solution. I'm afraid that in my circumstance, I've had to completely cut this person off from my life. Unfortunately I do have to see them from time to time and I certainly will not be like them and be rude; but I've done my part and now I just stay away from their bitter poison. I cannot allow myself to become like them. All I can do is wish them the best and pray that one day they return to a right relationship with God. Grudges can do nothing but eventually destroy them. Is it really worth it in the long run?

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.”
― Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile    

"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?"  ~Sydney J. Harris

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Guilty or Not Guilty?

 

Happy Monday Morning to all my Fellow Bloggers!

 It's a lovely, dreary day outside; perfect for sitting in my comfy yoga pants and sipping coffee while I goof off on the internet.

 I suppose it's time for my weekly blog - yes, I promised myself I'd write at least one blog a week on this site, so here I am.

 Thank goodness the past week has been relatively quiet and peaceful! It seems my efforts to eliminate drama from my life are paying off. (Knock on wood!)

 So my topic of discussion for this week is quite obvious - the Zimmerman Trial. I really hadn't kept up on this whole thing as, to be quite frank, it didn't interest me that much. Life can be depressing enough without following all the sad stories in the headlines so why add to the misery, ya know? But I couldn't help but notice all the posts on Facebook for or against the verdict and all the arguing my friends have done over this whole trial.

 Maybe I don't have my facts straight but here is what I understand happened - a man of Latino descent spotted an African American teen wandering around behind a gated community and called police to report his behavior as suspicious. I guess Zimmerman decided to be a detective and follow this person around (which actually was dumb and dangerous) and in the course of things, was attacked by said individual and, in self defense, killed this young man. If I'm not correct, feel free to give me the straight facts.

 I've weighed heavily both sides of this in my mind. And every time I still fall on the side of Zimmerman. While I don't agree with what he did in that he tried to take matters into his own hands and follow the troubled youth around, I still cannot understand why people are so upset that he merely defended himself. It actually baffles me, to be honest. I mean, seriously people - was he supposed to just lay there and let his brains get beat out on the concrete by a clearly violent and troubled young man?? Do you realize how stupid that sounds??!?!?!?! For the sake of pleasing the liberal left wingers, he should've willingly allowed this person to kill him? And then to get put back on the streets to kill other people down the road? Does that really make sense? Because that's exactly what would've happened. I am trying so hard to see both sides of this. I think Zimmerman was an IDIOT for following Trayvon around. If he'd just called the police and than walked away, none of that would have happened. That was his mistake and it was a big one. He wasn't a trained police officer or detective so he clearly threw himself right into harms' way by doing what he did. But beyond that, I think he was fully justified in defending himself.

 If someone attacked one of my family members or myself and I had to choose between my life or the attackers', I wouldn't hesitate for even one second pulling the trigger. I would do WHATEVER I had to to ensure that my family and myself made it out of the situation alive. I wouldn't stop to consider what was "Politically Correct" before taking action. My survival instincts would kick in and I do what I had to do - even if it meant killing the attacker. This is logical and normal and smart thinking. It's rational. What is irrational is the ideology that we lay down and take whatever crap and violence criminals throw at us for the sake of pleasing the liberals. That is the thinking of retards and ding dongs. I'm sorry if this offends my liberal friends and family, but hey, I'm just saying things the way I see them. And that thinking DOESN'T MAKE SENSE to a normal, rational person.

 So, in retrospect, I think our courts - THE LAW OF THE LAND - made the right and proper decision in acquitting an innocent man of murder. It wasn't murder; it was self-defense. And maybe now Zimmerman will think twice before trying to be a macho man and going after troubled and violent people. Because the poor guy will be hated for the rest of his days by liberals and criminal sympathizers because of his actions. 

 I could go on and carry on about how this also causes more arguments over carrying guns - but let's face it people, Zimmerman had a license to carry and whether you like it or not, he wasn't doing anything illegal by having his gun.  The cowardly left wing can cry against the injustice of law-abiding citizens carrying their registered guns all day and all night long, but it's still legal and there's not a bloody thing you can do about it. :) So my suggestion is stop you're blasted whining and focus on things that are important. Just because you're too scared and inexperienced to carry a weapon, doesn't mean the rest of us need to hear your retarded and biased and nonsensical arguments against it. Quite frankly, law abiding, gun-toting citizens don't care what you think. Your silliness just fuels the fire. So hush already!

 Everyone just needs to take a chill pill, calm their hyper selves down and be happy! Get over it. What's done is done. Justice has prevailed whether you like it or not. There will be plenty of other things for the dramatic left wingers to carry on about in the days to come so just re-group, enjoy a few moments of peace and quit worrying over things that don't concern you.

 And that's my two cents on this whole mess. :)

The Folly of False Friends

 

 

There's little in life that is more entertaining (and more frustrating) than dealing with people. I don't know why, but for some strange reason, I seem to attract drama. And for those of you who don't know - I HATE drama with a passion. And what may be even more surprising is that I'm not a big people person. I think at first I may come across as such, but really, deep down inside, I'm just a loner that likes to do my own thing and to be left alone and to leave other people alone. Every once in a great while, I'll come across someone who is a kindred spirit. Someone with whom I enjoy conversing with and talking about the things we have in common. Someone whom I'd consider a dear, close friend. But let's face it, at my age and in this crazy day and age, bosom buddies just aren't to be found in abundance. Everyone has their own lives; lives in their own worlds; has families and spouses and children with which to keep them occupied. Who has time for running around with friends?

So why is it that no matter how hard I try to avoid drama and people problems, they seem to weasel their unwanted way into my happy little world? Again, I think I must have an invisible sign on my back that only weirdoes and drama queens (and kings) can see that says "Focus all your stupidity and unwanted attention right here!"

Yes, I think it's safe to say that this blog is a classic "Chrissy vent" blog that has been brought to the surface by classic "Chrissy people problems" once again. At the risk of sounding childish and ridiculous and completely unspiritual, I'm just going to say "I really wish people would leave me the heck alone and get a life!! Are their lives really so boring and pathetic and pitiful that they feel the need to focus on mine?!?!?!?!" There, I feel better now.

Once again, I find myself cleaning house and getting rid of toxic friendships and cutting off all those who cause drama in a feeble attempt to restore peace to my world. I know it won't last - not forever. But can you blame a girl for trying? I am only human though. Eventually, someone else will come along whom I will form a misguided friendship with only to see it go up in a blaze of drama and ridiculousness in the end. Such is the way of man - we are destined to repeat history. Sigh.

This all said, I am sooooooooooooo very thankful for my true friends. This kind of garbage makes you see who your real friends are and makes you that much more appreciative of them. Real friends don't flip out over stupid things. Real friends are there for you no matter what! You can talk to them, go to them for advice and expect them to tell you the truth. If you do have a disagreement, you get past it because both parties are mature adults and not insecure, immature children who don't know how to resolve conflicts. You laugh with them; cry with them; share your victories and your defeats. I could go on and on. There are a few people who come to my mind when I think of these true blue friends. Some of them are old friends whom I've been blessed to have since childhood; some of them are newer friends that I've made in the past few years. Some are friends that live nearby but more are long distance friends and some are even "online friends". Yes, **GASP** you CAN make dear friends over the internet! That's what is so beautiful about our day and age and all the technology that we have ~ It enables us to get to know people in other parts of the world whom we would've never had the pleasure of knowing otherwise.

So don't mistake my blog as a rant that there are no good friends left in this world. There are. It's just that the bad ones sometimes overwhelm you so much you can't see past their drama and overwhelming bad influence. I know this has been the case with me lately and I really am trying to detox myself from these bad friendships and bad circumstances as much as I can.

I will leave my dear reading audience with a few quotes that I love concerning these topics.

And yes, you will hear from me again - sooner rather than later, no doubt! ;-)

 

"A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him." ~ Aesop

 

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
George Washington

It is only the great hearted who can be true friends. The mean and cowardly, Can never know what true friendship means.
Charles Kingsley

The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.
Ulysses S. Grant

Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
Socrates

"As we grow older we don’t lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are."

 

 

 

Things We Don't Like To Talk About....

Since everyone else is talking about the recent rulings in favor of gay marriage in the Supreme Court, I figured it was time that I did as well. (I suspect the eye rolling and sighs of exasperation are starting up already... oh... just wait.... )
I think most of my family and friends know where I stand on the issues of gay marriage and homosexuality in general. I don't speak up a lot on the issue as I try to keep the things I talk about online and publicly very general and non-controversial. And there are people that I know personally who practice this lifestyle. "To each their own." But it still doesn't change the fact that homosexuality is a sin, even though this goes against pop culture philosophy today.
 "As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it also be in the days of the coming of the Son of Man." If this isn't the truth of our time, I don't know what is! Things that used to be unacceptable to even non-Christian society; acts committed behind closed doors and in the dark and things we didn't speak of 75 years ago are practiced openly in the streets today and lauded as acceptable and even brave behavior. Should I change what I KNOW to be true, just because the world around me is foolishly changing? Should I accept things that I know dishonor God just because people I know personally are practicing them and living these lifestyles? Absolutely not! Only a coward abandons their beliefs to keep their peers happy. And I am MANY things, but one thing I am NOT is a coward!
 So how do we, who are Bible believing Christians and who have traded places with the homosexuals and have now become the minority, behave ourselves in such times? First of all, you do not hate the person - you hate the sin. There is a fine line in this area and many people have crossed the line over into all out hatred against the people and not hatred against the sin itself. This is VERY important! People like Westboro Baptist Church - A CULT - have given good Christian people a bad name in this area in the ridiculous and WRONG ways they handle our modern day issues. I think people like that ought to be locked up and never see the light of day again.
 I came across a post by Mike Huckabee - of all people - whom I'm not a big fan of. But what he said phrases exactly what I know in my heart to be true on the issue of gay marriage and homosexuality. And so there's no confusion to my friends and family where I stand on this issue, I felt it necessary to post this blog and also to paste his quote here.

"As much as I’d love to be loved and admired by all, I can’t defy the definition of marriage any more than I can defy the law of gravity. God created both and at the point I decided to follow Him in my Christian commitment, my life nor its rules belong to me any more. As for the argument that it’s a matter of equality, let me gently point out that the issue is not equality, but sameness. Equality means intrinsic worth and value and would guarantee one’s right to vote, rent or buy a house, go to school, or receive medical care. But equality of worth doesn’t create sameness. There are differences between men and women, and votes of Congress nor the Extreme Court can change that. After 39 years of marriage, I won’t pretend that I understand women, but I know there’s a difference. Courts said in 1857 that black people weren’t fully human and they were wrong. They said in 1962 that we couldn’t pray in school and they were wrong. In 1973, they said unborn children were disposable and expendable, and 56 million dead children later, they were wrong. And this week, for those of us who believe God created male and female, and who believe what Jesus said that a man shall leave his father and mother and a woman shall leave her home and the two will become one flesh, they were wrong again." ~ Mike Huckabee

Is Crazy The New Normal?

Let's face it, people - life can be pretty crazy! Just when I think everything is going just peachy - all is quiet on the home front; no drama; no bizarreness; BAM!!!! Something happens. Without fail. Every. Single. Time. It's like I'm a magnet for the weird and bizarre. I often wonder if I have some kind of sign painted on my back that only crazy people can see that says: "Focus all your weirdness right here!". 
 I already look at life from a much different perspective then most people do; these wild events just give me even more perspective and fuel for my proverbial fire.
 So, to kick off this quirky blog, I will post some very random things I've learned from my recent "adventures" in crazy land:

1. You can't fix stupid. True story.
2. When you get texts from numbers you don't recognize, DON'T try to be a detective and see who's on the other end. Lands you in trouble EVERY SINGLE TIME. Trust me.
3. Don't meddle with angry people. In my case, that means don't read blogs written by embittered people from your past - you just might stumble upon embarrassing photos of yourself posted on their website for all the world to see. Yup. Another true story.
4. Did I mention that you can't fix stupid? ;o)
5. Surround yourself with happy and funny people. They make life's journey much more enjoyable. That way, when crazy things do happen to you, you'll have an awesome group of friends to laugh about it with. After all, what good does it do to take everything so seriously? None. So don't. :)

 I think it's safe to say that the posts I will be posting on this particular blog will be untraditional, random and quirky. I will take random issues and happenings and will talk about them or climb atop my soap box and rant and rave on them all I want to. Depending on how I feel on that particular day. Why? Because I still have freedom of speech and I can!! YES! That's a good enough reason in and of itself. So let this blog entertain you. Whether you agree with what I say or not - I can assure you, it will be entertaining. :)